Debbie Carr Agency

Keynote speaking, motivation, personal development

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Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.

Vince Lombardi

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.

Khalil Gibran

Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.

Lord Chesterfield

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I am NOT a Christmas Grinch…well maybe I am.

My daughter recently sms’d me a message and called me GRINCH….lol…made me laugh because I think I am a Grinch…and only because I see Christmas in a different light than most.

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If I Could

Today 14 years ago my brother died. When I found out my brother had taken his life, my world collapsed. 14 years on it is still a vivid memory and doesn’t seem that long ago.  This is my tribute to him today.  We were in the middle of writing a children’s book called “If I Could” about a little boy with big dreams. I was writing the book and Gary was doing the artwork which is featured in this video. I couldn’t finish the  book because Gary hadn’t finished all the illustrations. The little boy featured in each drawing is actually his self-portrait. I promised one day I would show the world his art so today is it. The original paintings are vibrant colours and extremely detailed, Gary was indeed gifted.

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Moon and Venus from my bedroom

When I woke up this morning  at 5.00 a.m. I saw this picture from my bed….The Moon and Venus. I watched it until dawn. I could not take my eyes off this spectacular sight and I was mesmerised by its beauty until it vanished when daylight came.

Taken by the author of this BLOG on 14th Aug 2012

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It’s what thoughts we choose that gets us through hard times

I have made major relationship mistakes in my life, and now at the age of 50 I look back and contemplate would I change anything? Yes, certainly I would if I could turn the clock back and have resolved my demons with my husband.  Unfortunately I can’t rewind the  clock and I have lived with it for the past 11 years, grateful that we are actually still the best of friends.

Recently,  a relationship of nearly 9 years ended for me. It was one of those ‘on and off’ unions, and despite the warnings from my friends, family and others, I could not take off my rose-coloured glasses to see that the person involved was in fact not truthful and not faithful to me.  I step back now and I see how foolish I was. I was lied to and deceived through the whole relationship, and I in return, unconditionally loved him.  I suppose that’s why I had the rose-coloured glasses on.  What is really amusing about this situation is that those who know me, know I am a very strong-minded  and independent woman.  If a friend of mine was in a similar situation I would do anything to get her to see the truth. It’s a bit like a tradesman …gets everyone else’s house in order except their own!

At my age, I could look back and think what a waste. I could:

  • Worry that I will never find anyone else.
  • Be bitter, twisted and revengeful.
  • Spend my whole waking hours regretting.
  • Let my self-esteem plummet.
  • Cry
  • Keep hoping he would come back to me a changed man.
  • Keep thinking of the ‘what only….”
  • Keep loving him.
  • Not move on.
  • Let it ruin my happiness.
  • Stalk him.
  • Refuse to love again.
  • Choose never to trust again.
  • Be miserable.

Stuff that! I’ve got a life to live!

Instead I choose to move on because I recognise I’ve wasted enough time. Happiness is all in the mind.  So I choose to ‘cancel’ any sad thoughts I have and I replace them with thoughts of happy things like:

  • I eventually want to move to North Queensland,
  • I think of the people I am about to meet in my life,
  • I think of helping my two daughters build an online business for themselves at their young ages of 21 and 17 so they will be set for life,
  • I look up at the night sky and gaze for ages in wonderment of it all,
  • I say thank you every time I have some food to eat,
  • I think of how supportive my family is,
  • I think of funny things,
  • I laugh at myself because I do so many dumb things,
  • I smile at strangers,
  • I flip any thoughts of ‘him’ to something positive,
  • I choose to thank him for the lesson he taught me,
  • I recognise I must have some how contributed to his life,

These little things make all the difference from being sad to being happy.


Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me

Recently, someone I have had the greatest respect for many years as both a friend and mentor, lost his temper and said something so hurtful to me that in an instant I lost all those years of respect.

This incident really got me thinking and I concluded that no matter what people may think or say about us, we have to find the self preservation to hold our heads up high and with pride. In fact, I have often said ‘it’s none of my business what other people’s opinions are of me’.  If we take that attitude it actually makes life flow a lot easier because we realise that we can’t control what other people think and say about us, but we sure as hell can control how we let it affect us!

As I  thought about those hurtful words for many hours, days and nights I finally snapped! I snapped at myself for dwelling in my self-pity and taking on board the opinion of someone else, words said in anger that destroyed a relationship in a second. Speaking to one of my dearest friends she told me that she had recently re-tweeted something from Alain de Botton about people seeing the worst in others when they are really seeing the worst in themselves.

We all let our guard down at times and maybe say and do things we don’t mean, however it’s food for thought to think that we may be saying something because we see that trait in ourselves and we don’t like it. In fact, I believe it’s often best to count to 10 before opening your mouth in the heat of a moment as it can save a lot of heartache and regrets.

Deb and her Frog!

With a huge effort on my part I have managed to stop dwelling on the situation by using these tools:

  • When I was thinking of the incident I remembered all the good things about this person.
  • I became grateful for the years of friendship and realised that life isn’t all about my lessons, the people in my life have lessons to learn too, and I play a part in that.
  • Recently I was in the country at my parents house, and at midnight I went outside when everyone was in bed, and stood watching in awe of the Universe with its galaxies and stars.  As I stood there with a blanket wrapped around me for warmth, listening to frogs croaking (my most favourite creatures in the world) and the odd cow mooing I realised that tiny little Debbie, a mini spec of dust in the scheme of things, is here to create, enjoy and live life because at any moment it could be taken from me…….. so being hurt by other people’s opinions is a Big Waste of Space!

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Fear my new best friend

Today my friend Lisa Phillips one of Sydney’s top Life Coaches gave me some good advice.  I should be more afraid of the consequences of not achieving my goals. That puts my fear into a whole new perspective for me.

Fear my new best friend



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Quiet Please

I have a new rule when I’m riding my bike and that’s to keep  my mind still and observe nature. When I find my mind chatting away I simply say to myself “Quiet Please”. 

This little practise has made me more relaxed, more calm and given me more clarity.

“Quiet Please”