Today I fulfilled a promise that I made 14 years ago reading an Eulogy

Today a weight is off my shoulder.  A weight that has been on my mind for 14 years.

I speak openly about my brother’s suicide and even though it’s been a long time, I still think of him often. Very often.  14 years ago I stood up stoic when I read my brother’s Eulogy, I wanted him to be looking down at me telling the world how wonderful he was without crying. I did that. I was screaming inside and somehow I found the strength to be composed.

The promise I made to Gary was I would somehow publish the book he and I were writing together.  Today, I built a blog which has published the book and his cartoons. In fact it has taken me the last 5 hours and now it’s done.

The blog will be ongoing because my brother left us his life work of cartooning as well as other drawings.  I hope that you enjoy his cartoons and work and please share with anyone you think might also enjoy.

I have a lot more work to keep updating all Gary’s cartoons, for now some are up and our book is published as a website.

14 years ago I would never have thought that I would fulfill my promise by dedicating a whole website to Gary’s artwork.  How technology has taken us to different places from then to now.

www.garystevendoran.com

25.11.63 – 2.11.1998
My work is done – RIP Bro

My Eulogy

Thank you all for coming today to help us not mourn the death of Gary, but to celebrate his life, short as it was.

As I was writing this, the thought crossed my mind, that when we are upset with a loved one, if we were to think about what we would write as a Tribute for that person, it would bring back to us how precious every minute spent with the people we love is.

 Gaz was a bit of a lost soul who didn’t feel that he had to conform to what society expected. Political correctness was definitely not a high priority for him.  Nor was he ever worried about what other people thought of him.  He couldn’t be bothered with gossip and he accepted people for who they were.

 Gary was an incredibly talented person.  His artwork was amazing.  I was always mesmerized with the colours he was able to create.  He told me he would see these colours in his dreams.  These colours would manifest in his artwork and especially in the children’s book he was trying to get published.  I promise you, sweet brother, I will finish that book for you and it will be published.  Gaz was also a very talented musician and we are fortunate that he has left us tapes of him jamming sessions.

 Gary often had troubled times, but he was fortunate that he had a family who loved and accepted him for who he was.  A special mention here must go to my Mother, who cared and helped him so much.  She was always careful never to over-step the boundaries by interfering with his life.  On behalf of Gary, I thank you, Mum.

He was also fortunate to have Dad and Eamonn, who would try and give him employment whenever he needed it.  His brother, Kevin, was there for him if he needed to have someone to talk to, regardless of the time.

I held a special bond with my brother.  We would spend hours discussing the meaning of life and what happens when we die.  We both believe that we move on to a far grander place than this after death.  I guess Gary knows all the answers now and his search is over.

If we could see Gary’s spirit standing with us here, he would be telling us not to mourn for him but to be happy for him, because now, he resides in peaceful bliss.

I love you Gaz, we all do.

 I then placed a copy of this eulogy on his coffin. 

I am NOT a Christmas Grinch…well maybe I am.

My daughter recently sms’d me a message and called me GRINCH….lol…made me laugh because I think I am a Grinch…and only because I see Christmas in a different light than most.

If I Could

Today 14 years ago my brother died. When I found out my brother had taken his life, my world collapsed. 14 years on it is still a vivid memory and doesn’t seem that long ago.  This is my tribute to him today.  We were in the middle of writing a children’s book called “If I Could” about a little boy with big dreams. I was writing the book and Gary was doing the artwork which is featured in this video. I couldn’t finish the  book because Gary hadn’t finished all the illustrations. The little boy featured in each drawing is actually his self-portrait. I promised one day I would show the world his art so today is it. The original paintings are vibrant colours and extremely detailed, Gary was indeed gifted.

The Best Guru Advice Ever

Alfred Q Batts

My late brother was a cartoonist and his dream was to make it to the big papers.

I often wonder if he had not opted out of life so soon would he have actually made his dream? Did he give up just before he was about to have his big break? What if he had hung in there for a bit longer and pushed himself out of his comfort zone – would his cartoon character called “Alfred Q Batts” have become a household name? Would Alfred have made people laugh and bring joy to their lives as they opened their paper each morning to read what Alfred Q Batts was up to?

From time to time, I will post some of his strips in this blog.

Gary (Gaz) Doran 1963 – 1998